Except Sam Champion. He can hold down the fort.

Also: can somebody please take the new AC out of my bedroom window? The one with the cardboard side panels. Thanks in advance!!! I tried to reinforce it with some batter’s tape and a couple of shelves I found leaning against a wall. But not sure it’s gonna hold.

I’ve evacuated myself. I was forced to play count the number of bald porsche drivers for at least an hour and a half on the West Side Highway. And I had to literally peel my thighs off the fine corinthian leather once we finally made it to Middletown, NY. It was traumatic, I tell you.

But enough about me.

Sam Champion is saying the Empire State Building is going down.

Gogo Gowanus has taken refuge in Queens, not in fear of flooding but all the ick that will ensue: “#poo #syphilis #radioactiveschmutz

I don’t know where the fuck Al Roker is because I have no TV on which to watch all the dumb-ass reporters who are undoubtedly standing on beaches all up and down the Eastern Seaboard waiting to be blown away on camera.

Steve Kaminsky forgot to close his windows in Forest Hills and is actually driving home to do so.

Likewise, the Hoffmans who are afraid their FOUR GROWN DAUGHTERS won’t be able to figure out the sump pump.

So, what are you up to? Report in on your plans for the weekend.