Gowanus Canal

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Pimp That Ride: Body Armor for Your Car

June 13, 2011 in Brooklyn, Douchebag Database, Gowanus Canal, transportation | 1 comment

Thanks, GoGo

Oh yeah, this is how they ride in Gowanus!

Nobody’s going to fuck with this tough PT Cruiser wannabe and its bumper exterminating spikes, although… how is it that nobody’s sawed off one of the spikes and used it to key this DB’s lame-ass car? Way to coexist, bumper bully!

My 13-year-old car expert says its a Toyota Scion, which apparently is a car for young, dumbasses per the Edmunds review:

“Only a few years old, Scion is the youngest brand on the market — a fact that seems appropriate, given that it’s targeted at a very youthful demographic… They also coddled the youth market with flashy sound systems; Scion’s stereos are among the best in the economy-car segment.”

I’m putting the M.O. together: young, white guy from suburbs recently transplanted to Brooklyn.

A point of parallel parking etiquette from Dylan at Roadify: it’s not neighborly to leave half a car’s length on either end of your car or, for that matter, advisable given the potential consequences…

While it might look awesome, we strongly advise against spiking your bumper for the main reason that it’s really, really obvious when you ’love tap’ the car in front of you while parallel parking.

For an encore, might I suggest the latest in antitank grenade launchers…

 


AYFKWTS: Free Kayaking Excursion In The Gowanus Canal

June 10, 2011 in Brooklyn, Gowanus Canal, Park Slope, Parks and Recreation | 2 comments

Via the dubiously titled Brooklyn Brainery, just got tweet on a sweet opportunity coming our way: free kayak and canoe tours of the Gowanus Canal. Woohoo!

Yes, you too can join a scenic, fun-filled journey through our very own little old nationally recognized toxic waste dump with The Gowanus Dredgers Canoe Club this weekend. Who wouldn’t want to strap on a life preserver, get your feet good and dirty, maybe dig for oysters, do a little fishing, picnic on the water.

We offer FREE self-guided canoeing and estuary stuardship days where you can stop by anytime during the event. No reservations required, first come, first served and events cancelled if raining 30 min. before start time. Unless otherwise noted, Gowanus canoeing events depart from 2nd St. near Bond St.

Tempting, no?

 

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Hood Hotties: Is GoGo The HAWTEST Guy in Gowanus?

June 9, 2011 in Brooklyn, Gowanus Canal, Park Slope | 1 comment

 

An occasional series on the life and times of my very favorite blog commenter in the whole world (or at least Brooklyn)— Gogo Gowanus.

 

 

 

Gogo Gowanus is smoking hot today. Literally.

At around 11:45 last night, I got off at the F train stop at 4th and 9th.  The train had arrived quickly at the 2nd Ave stop in Manhattan, no weirdos, smelly people, pole dancers, candy sellers etc on the train.  Things were going well and I was looking forward to a nice sleep after a busy first half of the week.  As I got closer to 15th street I noticed lots of flashing lights and people lining the sidewalks.  My heart raced with excitement – bloody car pile-up?  Crime scene investigation?  Anthony Weiner exposing himself?

I quickly spotted my neighbor and his dog and asked what’s up?  He advised that a transformer blew up and the power was out.  Our building was all darkness, no AC, no fans, no TV, not a single luxury.  The neighborhood has gentrified over the last few years but still, I was one of the few whities on the street at that point.  So all of the newer whities came over to me at this point to ask what was going on.

After hanging out on the corner for a while I walked down to my building where a few people gathered, sweaty and sad.  One neighbor asked if it’s really all that bad?  Is your health good?  Then why worry?  – we will be ok.  Keep in mind that this guy has no job and probably went and hung out in an air conditioned bar.  By 12:30 I went upstairs.  I was tired and needed sleep, electricity or not.   So I get upstairs and find out that a few of my outlets and lights actually work.  Weird.  But it’s not even like one room has power and others do not.  So I find the nearest working outlet to my room and connect three power strip/surge protector things together and plug in my fan.  With the windows open and my fan it was ok, but still freakin hot.  I slept a few good hours but by 5:30 was pretty much up.  This was all relieved by an ice cold shower – I guess there’s no hot water without power?  Also, no coffee unless I wanted to move the coffee maker somewhere else but that seems messy and unholy.

The good news (I think) is that when I walked to the train this morning, Con Ed was hard at work on the corner of 15th and 4th.  So was Anthony Weiner.

Editor’s Note: Oh Gogo! Also, that pun was terrible.

Anybody else fucked in greater Park Slope today?

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